You’re Not “Too Much”: How DBT Therapy Helps People Who Struggle With Big Emotions

In a world that often encourages people to “calm down” or “just get over it,” living with intense emotions can feel incredibly isolating. Whether it’s anger that erupts quickly, sadness that feels overwhelming, or anxiety that’s hard to soothe, many people struggle with emotions that feel bigger than they can manage. If this sounds familiar, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) may offer the tools and support you need to feel more in control and less alone.

What Is DBT?

DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy originally developed by psychologist Dr. Marsha Linehan to treat individuals with borderline personality disorder. Over time, it has been adapted to help people with a wide range of emotional and behavioral challenges, especially those related to emotional intensity, impulsivity, and difficulties in relationships.

At its core, DBT teaches skills for balancing acceptance and change. It helps people learn to understand and accept their emotions while also making practical changes that improve their quality of life.

Why DBT Works for Big Emotions

Here’s how it can help:

1. Emotion Regulation Skills

When your emotions feel like a tidal wave, it’s easy to feel swept away. DBT helps you understand what emotions are, why they show up, and how to respond to them without making the situation worse. You'll learn to:

• Recognize emotional patterns

• Reduce emotional vulnerability (like through sleep, nutrition, and self-care)

• Use strategies to shift or calm down intense feelings when they arise

2. Distress Tolerance

Sometimes, we can’t fix what’s upsetting us in the moment—so what do we do then? DBT teaches you how to tolerate pain and emotional crises without acting impulsively or engaging in behaviors you might regret. This includes techniques like grounding exercises, distraction strategies, and self-soothing methods.

3. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the foundation of DBT. It helps you stay present and grounded in the moment, instead of being carried away by thoughts of the past or worries about the future. Practicing mindfulness can give you a sense of control and calm, even when emotions are running high.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

Big emotions often show up in our relationships. DBT teaches practical tools for communicating your needs, setting boundaries, and navigating conflict—all without losing your temper, shutting down, or hurting your relationships.

What It Feels Like to Be in DBT

Many people who start DBT describe feeling seen and validated for the first time. Rather than being told to “just stop feeling that way,” they’re taught that their emotions make sense and that they have the power to respond to them differently.

DBT can be challenging—after all, it asks you to look closely at your habits and practice new skills—but it’s also deeply empowering. Over time, many people begin to feel more stable, more confident, and more connected to the people and goals that matter most to them.

Final Thoughts

If you’re someone who feels things deeply—maybe more deeply than others seem to—you’re not broken. Your emotions aren’t wrong. But they can be hard to carry alone.

DBT offers a way forward. It’s not about getting rid of emotions; it’s about learning to ride the waves without drowning in them. With the right tools and support, you can build a life that feels more manageable, meaningful, and worth living.

If you’re interested in learning more about DBT or finding a therapist who offers it, we can help. All of the therapists at the Center for Wise Mind Living are intensively trained in DBT. You can set up a free consultation to find out if it might be the right kind of therapy for you.

Written By: Erin Olivo, PhD