When Big Feelings Take Over: How DBT-C Can Help Overwhelmed Parents and Their Children

Parenting can be incredibly rewarding—but let’s be honest, it can also feel overwhelming, especially when your child’s emotions and behaviors seem intense, unpredictable, or hard to manage. If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, feeling helpless during your child’s meltdowns, or questioning your own parenting decisions after yet another difficult moment, you’re not alone. Many parents feel this way, and fortunately, there is something that can help. Dialectical Behavior Therapy for Children (DBT-C) is a powerful, evidence-based treatment designed to support children with big emotions—and equally importantly, to support the parents who love and care for them.

What Is DBT-C?

DBT-C is an adaptation of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), originally developed for adults, and later adapted for adolescents and children. It's specifically designed for children ages 6 to 12 who struggle with intense emotions, frequent outbursts, anxiety, or difficulty with frustration tolerance. DBT-C recognizes that children often don’t have the skills they need to regulate their emotions and that parents need effective tools to respond in ways that are supportive, not reactive.

Why Parents Feel Overwhelmed

When a child is experiencing emotional dysregulation—think tantrums, yelling, aggression, withdrawal, or panic—it naturally affects the whole family system. Parents often feel confused about how to respond: Should I set a limit or offer comfort? What’s reinforcing the behavior? Am I being too strict or too lenient? Over time, these moments can leave parents feeling exhausted, frustrated, or even hopeless.

This is where DBT-C comes in—by helping both the child and the parent gain skills and clarity.

How DBT-C Helps

DBT-C addresses emotional intensity at the root. Through structured sessions with the child and the parents, families learn:

• Emotion regulation skills—Children are taught how to identify their feelings, understand what triggers them, and learn strategies to manage those emotions in the moment.

• Mindfulness—Both parents and children learn how to stay present, notice emotions without judgment, and respond rather than react.

• Distress tolerance tools—Kids gain healthy ways to cope with overwhelming feelings, and parents learn how to support them during emotional storms without escalating the situation.

• Effective communication strategies—Families practice validation, boundary-setting, and collaborative problem-solving.

• Parent coaching—A central part of DBT-C is helping parents shift their responses to reduce power struggles and build a more connected, trusting relationship.

The Power of a Collaborative Approach

One of the most empowering parts of DBT-C is that it doesn’t place blame on the child or the parent. Instead, it emphasizes that everyone is doing the best they can—and everyone can learn new skills to do better. When families approach emotional challenges with curiosity and compassion (instead of shame or fear), healing begins to happen.

What Parents Say

Many parents who complete DBT-C report feeling more confident, less reactive, and more hopeful. They begin to understand their child’s behavior not as defiant or manipulative but as a communication of distress. And as children build skills, their emotional outbursts become less frequent and more manageable.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your child’s emotions or behavior, know that help is available—and that change is possible. DBT-C provides a roadmap for navigating emotional intensity with greater confidence, skill, and connection. Parenting will never be easy, but with the right tools and support, it can feel a lot more manageable—and a lot less lonely.

Interested in learning more about DBT-C or whether it might be a good fit for your family? Reach out to our team at CWML to schedule a consultation or attend one of our parent workshops.

Written by: Erin Olivo, PhD

Image by: Milan_Jovic (Getty Images Signature)